Recently the death of airhostess Anissia Batra shook me. She was a beautiful, educated and empowered woman who was working with Lufthansa Airlines. Her dad is a Major General who had served army for 40yrs. She is from a well off family. It made me wonder why are women who are empowered willing to go through domestic violence? They are married for over 2yrs now and as per her parents her husband had started beating her from their honeymoon for dowry and other issues. But even then she chose to stay in this marriage for 2+ years and finally had to take her life to end the misery!!
So many questions came into my mind after I read all the news. I was surprised to see that her parents allowed her to stay in that miserable marriage all this time even though they knew what she was going through. They knew that she was undergoing physical violence from her husband, they knew her husband and in laws were harassing her for dowry. They had even filed a case against them in June mentioning that if anything happens to their daughter her in laws and husband are responsible. Instead of doing all this, had they taken their daughter to their house and protected her, she would have been alive now.
Why are Indian parents so reluctant to protect their daughters after marriage even though they know that she is suffering? Is the society more important to them than their daughter? In this case the parents, the news reporters and the public everyone is blaming her husband and in laws. Of course they are on the wrong side and they have to be blamed and they ought to get punished for the harassment. But aren't the parents of the girl on the wrong side too? She was their daughter and they got her married. They knew he used to beat her and harass for dowry and other issues. Why did they not bring her back to her house? What took them so long to even file a complaint against her husband even though he was torturing her by even locking up in a room?
It really saddens me to think that society matters more to the parents than their daughter's life. A parents' responsibility towards a daughter does not end with her marriage. So what, if she is not able to stay in the marital relationship and if she wants to move out? Is the world going to end because of that? How does it really matter what the neighbours or relatives say? Ultimately it is your life and it should be your decision based on what you are going through. No one else will truly understand that except you.
It is high time we as a society realise this and support the victims instead of the accused. Instead of shaming the victim who has taken courage to move out of a violent relationship saying that she should have tried better to make the marriage work, let us lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it to make them feel better. No relationship is going to get better if only one person tries. Both the persons involved have to equally try and mend their ways if necessary, if you want it to work.
Marriage is not the ultimate thing in life and divorce is not the end of life. Unless we as a society realise this or rather most importantly the parents of daughters realise this, the deaths due to domestic violence is not going to end.
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